ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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