i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
