Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
why do cheetos always look like penises
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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