yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
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