Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
