pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
