Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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