He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
