Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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