You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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