Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Congratulations! We have a period
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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