my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
