Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
