I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize