billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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