omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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