Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
