..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
My feet surprised me
I currently don't understand fingers.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
