Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
