remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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