Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
