I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Randomize
