After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
the liver wants what the liver wants
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
