Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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