Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
