If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
