Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
