Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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