what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
