awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize