My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Randomize
