dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
