i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
