Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize