Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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