Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She even gives head with a lisp.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize