Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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