I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
