you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
she told me i tasted like america
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
