Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
