everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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