i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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