I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
The feeling are messing with the penis
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
