my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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