After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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