he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize