tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
