I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
