This girl is more easily done than said...
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
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