We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Randomize
