just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
