Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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