He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize