hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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