Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB

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(360): View more from Washington

Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!

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(819): View more from Quebec

its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger

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(507): View more from Minnesota

I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.

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(845): View more from New York

Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts

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(517): View more from Michigan

Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on

(812): View more from Indiana

Nope

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(813): View more from Florida

Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.

(727): View more from Florida

Savage

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