): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I didn't notice because vodka
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
