You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
