plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
