My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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