Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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