is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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