haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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