This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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