small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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