I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
