**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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