I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
