We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
